


vignettes

by plantyourtreeswithme



Category: Gandrew - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Character Death, Established Relationship, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:02:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23591281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plantyourtreeswithme/pseuds/plantyourtreeswithme
Summary: Why Andrew hates flying, in three parts.
Relationships: Andrew Siwicki/Garrett Watts
Comments: 9
Kudos: 25





	vignettes

**Author's Note:**

> This is very short, because I cannot sleep. Written in one take.

_1\. future_

_"I'm sorry, Andrew,"_ Shane will say over the phone, four years from now. _"I know how much you hate flying."_

And Andrew will hang up silently, without a word - but he will be there at the airport the next week, and Shane will be there, and Ryland and Morgan will be long gone. It's just him and Shane against the world.

This is all Shane needs; why can't it be enough for Andrew?

He will keep his mouth shut, and get on the private jet. There are rumors, online, that Shane bought it himself with cold, hard cash - but Andrew knows the truth. It was a consolation prize, after Ryland got bored and decided he'd had enough.

After all the arguing and the screaming and the darkness of the editing room, where Andrew hid and worked as the couple fought outside the door - Jeffree was there. And he came bearing gifts.

Andrew will get on the plane, and wince and shudder and try not to vomit, wishing Garrett was there to hold his hand. Thinking of a watery death, and a plane sinking beneath tumultuous waves, and tuning out Shane's meaningless words meant to comfort him.

He knows Shane doesn't care. This is just the way things are.

_2\. past_

"Two weeks," Garrett had said, arms curled around Andrew's waist. His hair was lovely and soft and golden - and needed to be cut, Andrew remembers that much. He was wearing that black-and-white plaid, the one Andrew likes; and they were standing in the kitchen, and his chin was on Andrew's shoulder while Andrew washed the dishes, and all was right with the world.

"Two weeks is a long time," Andrew replied.

"I'll be back before you know it."

Then they shared one last, long kiss, and Garrett tasted of honeysuckle and starlight.

Oh, and this part, Andrew knows by heart: Garrett smiles, and his eyes are like soft dewdrops in the grass on a misty morning - and then he walks out the door, and Andrew never sees him again.

_3\. present_

He gets a call at three in the morning, and screams until his throat is raw.

He takes a camera lens: throws it against the wall until it dents, until the glass shatters and he can pry out the inner mechanisms, destroying what he once held dear.

Fills up his bathtub and tries to drown himself, because he wants to know how Garrett felt when the plane went down - how it felt to know that he would die, that he was out over the middle of the ocean and no one would find his remains. That he will never be buried.

 _Maybe he will haunt a coral reef,_ he thinks as his skin prunes, as he submerges himself for the fifth time.

He wonders if it was slow or quick: if the cabin filled sluggishly, navy ink lapping at their ankles in the dark; if Garrett thought of opening the window and swimming to the surface - or if it was sudden and abrupt, no time for hurried goodbyes or phone calls to loved ones or desperate prayers. Lungs filling up with saltwater, inflating like balloons.

He wonders if Garrett thought of him at all.

He wonders if he's still down there, gliding along the ocean floor - a siren, a naiad, pale and otherwordly, soft skin glowing in the sea's dim light. Singing to Andrew from thousands of miles away.

Calling to him, beckoning; asking if he'll join him in the depths.

**Author's Note:**

> I think this is a very real fear of Andrew's whenever Garrett travels, based upon his apparent inability to sleep whenever Garrett is away.
> 
> If I managed to break your heart, leave me a comment! I read and treasure every one.
> 
> As always, [I'm on Tumblr](https://cherryblossomwatts.tumblr.com). [Send me a fic request](https://cherryblossomwatts.tumblr.com/ask) if you'd like! The angstier, the better.


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